E-mail in response to my craigslist ad seeking a room: I am a 30 something all natural female with a large loft style apartment. Are you interested in sharing an apartment or are you looking for a private one? Peace out, Sharon —- When I looked her up on myspace the below photo came up. Obviously it could be a joke, but who knows? I started laughing uncontrollably and had to work hard to...
ksen: "To date, Judson University’s Space Biology Program has sent five experiments into space on NASA shuttles, including three to the Russian space station Mir. The results were out of this world."
paul: I'll bet they were! hyuk hyuk
ksen: How can a religious school (with three "Worship Arts" Majors!) have a biology intensive?
ksen: PICK A SIDE!
paul: HOW CAN YOU BE SO INTOLERANT? Christians have the right to study and ignore science just like the rest of us!
More trivia questions for college students.
paul: In what year did Salvador Dali paint "Melting Clocks"? That question offends me
ksen: Eesh. That needs to be changed. Awful.
paul: Yeah, I got it.
ksen: I mean, I guess it can reference the melting clocks--for stupids--but that's not the title.
paul: Yeah, but if it was that, it would have to be "in what year did dali first paint melting clocks"
IN WHAT YEAR DID DALI PAINT THIS THING THAT LOOKS KIND OF LIKE A PLATYPUS AND KIND OF LIKE A BADGER AND IT'S DEAD BUT MAYBE IT'S JUST A STATUE WTF A PAINTING OF A STATUE
"You Ain't Got No Pancake Mix!" →
from Zach Galifianakis via Matt of tumbl.us —- Quiet day.
This is real.
The latest project at work has been uploading various “fun” pop-up trivia questions onto college websites my company has designed. I guess they’re supposed to entice the students somehow, but in the end they just confuse and bore. A lot of questions about how many seats there are in the auditorium and what is the phone number for the help desk. Then there are gems like these:...
I introduced my roommate to the concept of LOLCATS. —- He didn’t know what ‘n00dz’ were either, but those were more difficult to illustrate.
The man who co-wrote and directed Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome also produced Happy Feet and Babe. —- You don’t have to be consistent either.
Bush: I Cry A Lot– (link)
at a New York bar, I looked into Natalie Portman and the Natalie Portman looked back into me.
Letting go of loosened teeth.
What is it that causes us to keep pressing that button / visiting that person’s website / fingering that bruise / flicking that pained tooth with your tongue? What is it about pain and irritation that is so addictive and..almost.. thrilling? Maybe it’s just the addrenaline of anger—that feeling of being justified in your resentment, despite feeling a kind of shame and loathing at...
Great Sexpectations →
What I listen to at work. →
Quirky Minds: Amputee Wannabes. When a complete body makes you feel incomplete....– (link) Is it really appropriate to write a ‘catchy’ headline for an article about Body Identity Integrity Disorder? And is “quirky” even the right word here? Jeezus.
I like The Greenskeepers →
Do you like Amy Winehouse?– today’s e-mail from mom. I think it’s her way of asking if I’m on drugs.
Lycos Insider - What the Heck is an Avatar?
Lycos is retarded. I don’t even know why I’m receiving e-mail from them, not even to mention something so stupid as an “insider” on what an avatar is and how Lycos now has a “sleeker, more streamlined” homepage. I have no problem with them if they’re trying to appeal to the non-web-savvy (not that knowing what an avatar is makes you an avid internet user),...